Why Do We All Drink So Much?
This is going to be an interesting one to write, and I hope an eyeopening read for all of us. I have been pondering the question for a long time, but I really got to thinking after I read this article by Philly Magazine on mindful drinking.
It was begging me to ask the question: why as a society do we drink so much and why is alcohol so present in our everyday lives — specifically as young adults in America?
Full disclosure, I am not a big drinker. Socially, or otherwise. I’ll get a cocktail when I’m out with friends and put it up on Instagram, or have a glass of wine with a special dinner with John or my family but other than that I just do not really care about it. I didn’t have a major traumatic experience with alcohol thankfully, but it just is not in my interest or desire to drink much. That doesn’t make me a better person, or a more mature individual by any means. I am still guilty of having a bit too much wine at dinner, or a few too many white-claws at the beach, they are just situations that are a bit farther in between. I have been this way for quite awhile, but suppressed for many years especially during college. Except for the one time I outed myself in my college orientation group when I tried to “anonymously” ask our student leader if there were any activities on campus that didn’t involve drinking/partying… spoiler alert, not much and yes my new friend in the group totally knew it was me who asked haha.
I do not consider myself a “sober” person by any means, but I have realized that my relationship with alcohol is vastly different than most people my age. Then, I started seeing a lot of forums online (mainly women) talking about how and why we develop different relationships with alcohol and it really got me thinking. Was it how they were raised? Was it the friends they choose to hangout with? What makes it different? On the flip side, there are so many reason why people choose not to drink: preference, family history of alcoholism, have a drinking problem, health reasons, the list can go on. However, that reasoning isn’t always public knowledge to people around you and something I have found fascinating is that people always want to know why you aren’t drinking and they will ask you, or worse peer pressure you to just have “one drink” because it isn’t a big deal. Co-workers, friends, family, literal strangers will ask you why you aren’t drinking and my knee jerk reaction is always… why is it any of your damn business? But people take this very personally so I wanted to dive in and ask myself why?
Why is it not socially acceptable to not drink regardless of reasoning and why do people care so much?
I decided to read a book called “Sober Curious: The Blissful Sleep, Greater Focus, Limitless Presence, and Deep Connection Awaiting Us All on the Other Side of Alcohol” by Ruby Warrington that asks the question “How different would our lives be if we stopped drinking on autopilot?” and while it didn’t give me that major answer, it allowed me to look inside at the struggles people deal with who have problems with alcohol when they decide that drinking is not for them. It called them to discover what type of life is on the other side of alcohol being a weekly or even daily part of their routine. Warrington dives into the phenomenon of the “global movement to reevaluate alcohol as our social drug of choice” and it was an interesting look at why alcohol is a socially acceptable drug and why do not we treat it as a serious substance when it absolutely is. I am definitely guilty of sometimes having a few glasses of wine to realize that the bottle is empty, while I did not intend for that happen… I was on autopilot and I just kept pouring because, why not? Until of course I get the infamous hangover migraine that has me cursing myself into oblivion.
Being drunk is normalized. We see it at bars, in songs, in advertisement and marketing… it is all around us constantly. An experiment back in 2016 actually put this to the test with introducing a girl on Instagram named Louise Delange. She isn’t a real person, she is actually an ad agency creation that attracted 65,000 followers after 150 posts – which every one of which her posts shows the 25-year-old Parisian with alcohol. But that was not disclosed to her followers, they thought she was a real person. Her photos were everything from glasses of rosé at the beach; to a glamorous selfie taken at an event, glass of sparkling wine in hand – and upon first glance of her profile, your reaction is not “wow, she drinks a lot” but “wow, she looks like she has an awesome and fun life”. The point is, you don’t notice there is alcohol in every photo because it is normal for her to have alcohol in every single photo. That took a turn when months later, Delage made her last post to Instagram: a video clip, revealing her to be the creation of the advertising agency BETC, and the star of their “Like my addiction” campaign. It was all a ploy to bring awareness to alcoholism via Addict Aide, an organization that seeks to raise awareness of alcoholism among young people globally.
It is an open secret that alcohol is somehow ingrained in almost every section of our life. Hell, they even have yoga classes now that serve mimosas. Which hey, I am not judging… but for a practice that is supposed to be about health and connection to mind/body and soul, I do find it ironic.
I also do wonder why we treat drug addictions differently than alcohol addictions. We treat one as a dirty, scary, problem that people could just quit if they wanted to without resources and we treat the other with a luxurious vacation to a rehab facility with a 12 step program (I am not trying to undermine rehabs here, they are amazing and wonderful, but we all know the difference in treatment and perception here.) An estimated 95,000 people (approximately 68,000 men and 27,000 women) die from alcohol-related causes annually in the US alone, making alcohol the third-leading preventable cause of death in the United States. Over 91,000 people in 2020 died from drug overdose related incidents (mainly opioids). That is almost neck and neck for preventable deaths caused by substances. Those are a pretty big numbers… especially for a substance (alcohol) that you can literally buy at anytime, as long as you are 21 to be compared to drugs that are illegal and have sparked a country (and world wide) debate.
The purpose of this article was part self discovery, part opening a conversation for people in their twenties to investigate and reflect on their relationship with alcohol. I wanted to understand why we drink and what would happen if more of our social interaction revolved around other activities besides drinking. I also wanted to figure out why people get so heated and project judgement onto others for their decision to not drink. In my opinion, it is none of my goddamn business, just like asking someone when they are getting engaged or asking them if they’re pregnant. I find it rude and in bad taste, personally. But, many actually take it personally when you’re in a social interaction with them (aka at work events/dinners/parties/etc.) and they’re drinking and you’re not. Frankly I would like to get to the bottom of it because I want it to stop. I truly believe the only way that will happen is if we talk about it. So, I really encourage you to chat with your friends, siblings, partners about it so maybe it wouldn’t be so taboo and there would be this looming cloud of pressure to be on auto-pilot when we drink.
I want us to ask ourselves the question, would you be another person if you didn’t drink, or just drank less. Would your friendships change? Would your relationships at work? Would your health?
These are the questions I will be asking myself in the coming months and hopefully I can make another blog post about how that went in the future.
I’d love to hear from people who have also been thinking about this, and if you feel compelled I would be honored to engage in conversation about it. I hope this article opened your mind and made you think — writing it sure did for me.